Its funny how something as far-fetched as my sister’s ability to self-learn guitar can led me to think about all my friends throughout the years (esp. friends whom i felt didn’t treat me right…).

I was just thinking of how amazing it is for my sister to learn the guitar on her own without purchasing any guitar books and that’s when I remembered I actually co-owned a guitar book. This opened a gate to all the unhappy memories. I will start in chronological order.

In primary school, I had a friend who is mean to me and more straight forward. I have no idea why but she was especially mean to me and another friend and we both had experience crying about it (we were in lower primary then…so more “brittle”?) I guess she treated the rest of her friends roughly the same except a special group that she tried her best to get into.

She “conned” me into sharing a packet of foldable strips that were used to fold into stars but refused to let me fold them in the end. After I folded one or two stars, she exclaimed that my stars looked ugly and refused to let me fold anymore of it. She asked me to practise by cutting strips out from foolscap paper. I was so angry! But I decided to buy another packet for myself since it isn’t that I can’t afford it. And I could clearly remember her,  offering it to other friends as if she owned the packet 100%. TOTALLY AMAZING! Now to think back, its very scary to know that a kid that young (lower primary I think…) could harbour such evil thoughts and made what is not hers, hers. YUCKZ!

Then in secondary school, I had a similar experience. I wanted to learn to play the guitar and so did another friend. So one day when we were in a music school, we looked around for beginner guitar books to self-learn. In the end, she got me to share a book with her and said that she should keep it since her brother had a guitar then. And since when we wanted to practise,  we would need to go to her house to do so. Apparently, that never took place. I did initiate a couple of times regarding learning the guitar but she gave excuses and finally she said its difficult to learn together and there was no conclusion in the end.

Now, putting myself through both experiences again just makes me feel like puking. And I am wondering how did I manage to stay friends with them (at least through out each stages of education), when they did me such wrong?! Shouldn’t I have thrown them away? I must have been mad!

Polytechnic experience was the worse. I had a really close friend whom I hanged out with. But somehow, after 2 years of hanging out, I came to realize I couldn’t take her temper. The way she trashed out at me at times which were not my fault and a simple conversation to share my suffering was terminated by her abruptly. You know how we all complain and pour out our sorrows to friends who may or may not agree with your thinking, but she totally stopped me with her “I am not interested in what you are feeling”. I was so pissed!

And an opportunity came when we got streamed to different specialization. I know that this friend is not worth keeping anymore and I distanced myself from her. She felt it and she went around spreading the word that I am a practical and realistic person. I only continue my friendships with people who are crucial in my life. Her reasoning was that in the past when we were in the same class, I stuck close to her because I want someone to do project with.  But since we were in different class later, I didn’t need her and kept her out of my life. I was so  horrified , years later, to learn about what she said. I was still contemplating to not bear a grudge against her since the mistreatment was years ago but when I learnt of what horrible things she defame me with, there’s no turning back anymore. And how coincidentally all these took place! With just a lag time of a day or two, she came on msn and asked about my life and acted (or not, I am not sure) like she was so concerned that I will be without friends to turn to.  Such a freaking hypocrite! Yuckz! And I was still feeling sorry that I didn’t explained to her why did I distance away myself from her and left her feeling puzzled. But now I am not sorry at all.

But it isn’t that nothing good came out of polytechnic in terms of friendship. In my last year, I met baby! Yeah! A friendship that continued on even though we were in different schools and now in different stages of life. And it kind of helped “rekindled” a little, my friendship with Qin Ying whom I knew since secondary school. And how lucky I was to find a great friend in baby!

SMU is the school that I disliked the most among all the school that I attended. It has disgusting people who are super competitive, arrogant and slackers whom you can’t wait to murder. As well as some who looked like they bear a grudge against you and can’t wait to shoot you to hell with their questions during your presentation. But nonetheless, I made good friends here. I am in my final year and semester, and am lucky that I haven’t found anyone who did me as big a wrong as what the 3 “friends” did to me in my former education stages.

amor,esperanza y fe 9:50 AM.

Its funny how something as far-fetched as my sister’s ability to self-learn guitar can led me to think about all my friends throughout the years (esp. friends whom i felt didn’t treat me right…).

I was just thinking of how amazing it is for my sister to learn the guitar on her own without purchasing any guitar books and that’s when I remembered I actually co-owned a guitar book. This opened a gate to all the unhappy memories. I will start in chronological order.

In primary school, I had a friend who is mean to me and more straight forward. I have no idea why but she was especially mean to me and another friend and we both had experience crying about it (we were in lower primary then…so more “brittle”?) I guess she treated the rest of her friends roughly the same except a special group that she tried her best to get into.

She “conned” me into sharing a packet of foldable strips that were used to fold into stars but refused to let me fold them in the end. After I folded one or two stars, she exclaimed that my stars looked ugly and refused to let me fold anymore of it. She asked me to practise by cutting strips out from foolscap paper. I was so angry! But I decided to buy another packet for myself since it isn’t that I can’t afford it. And I could clearly remember her,  offering it to other friends as if she owned the packet 100%. TOTALLY AMAZING! Now to think back, its very scary to know that a kid that young (lower primary I think…) could harbour such evil thoughts and made what is not hers, hers. YUCKZ!

Then in secondary school, I had a similar experience. I wanted to learn to play the guitar and so did another friend. So one day when we were in a music school, we looked around for beginner guitar books to self-learn. In the end, she got me to share a book with her and said that she should keep it since her brother had a guitar then. And since when we wanted to practise,  we would need to go to her house to do so. Apparently, that never took place. I did initiate a couple of times regarding learning the guitar but she gave excuses and finally she said its difficult to learn together and there was no conclusion in the end.

Now, putting myself through both experiences again just makes me feel like puking. And I am wondering how did I manage to stay friends with them (at least through out each stages of education), when they did me such wrong?! Shouldn’t I have thrown them away? I must have been mad!

Polytechnic experience was the worse. I had a really close friend whom I hanged out with. But somehow, after 2 years of hanging out, I came to realize I couldn’t take her temper. The way she trashed out at me at times which were not my fault and a simple conversation to share my suffering was terminated by her abruptly. You know how we all complain and pour out our sorrows to friends who may or may not agree with your thinking, but she totally stopped me with her “I am not interested in what you are feeling”. I was so pissed!

And an opportunity came when we got streamed to different specialization. I know that this friend is not worth keeping anymore and I distanced myself from her. She felt it and she went around spreading the word that I am a practical and realistic person. I only continue my friendships with people who are crucial in my life. Her reasoning was that in the past when we were in the same class, I stuck close to her because I want someone to do project with.  But since we were in different class later, I didn’t need her and kept her out of my life. I was so  horrified , years later, to learn about what she said. I was still contemplating to not bear a grudge against her since the mistreatment was years ago but when I learnt of what horrible things she defame me with, there’s no turning back anymore. And how coincidentally all these took place! With just a lag time of a day or two, she came on msn and asked about my life and acted (or not, I am not sure) like she was so concerned that I will be without friends to turn to.  Such a freaking hypocrite! Yuckz! And I was still feeling sorry that I didn’t explained to her why did I distance away myself from her and left her feeling puzzled. But now I am not sorry at all.

But it isn’t that nothing good came out of polytechnic in terms of friendship. In my last year, I met baby! Yeah! A friendship that continued on even though we were in different schools and now in different stages of life. And it kind of helped “rekindled” a little, my friendship with Qin Ying whom I knew since secondary school. And how lucky I was to find a great friend in baby!

SMU is the school that I disliked the most among all the school that I attended. It has disgusting people who are super competitive, arrogant and slackers whom you can’t wait to murder. As well as some who looked like they bear a grudge against you and can’t wait to shoot you to hell with their questions during your presentation. But nonetheless, I made good friends here. I am in my final year and semester, and am lucky that I haven’t found anyone who did me as big a wrong as what the 3 “friends” did to me in my former education stages.