I am depressed.

I have been feeling down for the past few days. Down not in the sad kind of way but more of the bored way. =(

I have no idea what’s wrong with me. But the boredom that I felt got worse today and in the end, it manifested itself into depression. It was at its peak when I was alone on the train home from school. As I looked at the grey sky looming over the areas that the train passed by, my mood was the exact same colour of the sky. Not black like ultimate sadness but not pink or yellow like a cheery person. Its grey. The blurred zone.

Perhaps its because my hair sucks. I looked like I am going to the market. =(

Perhaps its because I can’t find clothes to wear this morning.

Perhaps its because I haven’t been wearing any new clothes.

Perhaps its because I haven’t been eating good food.

Perhaps its because I haven’t been out playing, having fun and enjoying life.

Or perhaps, I am just bored.

I am sure many of you will view me as a spoilt brat by this point of the post. And I guess I am one.

I should be thankful of what I have and what I enjoyed. And I am really really absolutely luckier than millions of people out there. But here I am, complaining about my life when I already had a lot.

I am ashamed of myself. BUT, this feeling is not something that I can control. I can’t help but feel this way. Similar to an instance where your girlfriend kept complaining about you not having enough time for her.It isn’t that she don’t understand how busy you are or that she felt that she has every right to blame you, the truth is, she simply can’t stop herself from feeling neglected.

The thing with feelings is that you can’t just shout at it to freeze and it will gladly comply. People can’t control how they feel. If you expect them to bottle up all these “unjustified” feelings, then make sure that you are able to deal with an emotions eruption.

Eh.. okay… I have no idea why am I talking about all these when this post is supposed to be about my mama. Haha.. So let’s get back to the “supposed” story…

So I felt depressed and it was written all over my face. When I met my mum for dinner, she was very nice to let me dragged her to Pastamania for dinner. Well you see, we don’t have much restaurant choices at Sembawang. Heehee..

And as you can see, I forced her to take a picture with me! Wasn’t in the mood for cam-whoring and picture-taking thus, I only ended up with 2 photos. I had the Prawn Aglio below. BABY!! I think you will love it! Its quite spicy and tasted good just that it might be a little too oily.

That’s about it for Pastamania.

Mummies are still the best. They talked to you and do simple things that will cheer you up when you need comfort the most. I felt a lot better after talking and complaining to my mum. Although I must admit that I haven’t fully recovered. I am constantly amazed this special gift of GOD that all mothers has.

Mothers always seem to know how their children are feeling despite not knowing what they are thinking. My mum is the only one who is able to look beyond the concealing mask of mine, straight at my sadness, anger etc. (Oops! I forgot GOD can too! ;) )

Anyway, I just received an email and it brought me back to my depressed state. I need mummy again!! :(

amor,esperanza y fe 1:00 AM.

I am depressed.

I have been feeling down for the past few days. Down not in the sad kind of way but more of the bored way. =(

I have no idea what’s wrong with me. But the boredom that I felt got worse today and in the end, it manifested itself into depression. It was at its peak when I was alone on the train home from school. As I looked at the grey sky looming over the areas that the train passed by, my mood was the exact same colour of the sky. Not black like ultimate sadness but not pink or yellow like a cheery person. Its grey. The blurred zone.

Perhaps its because my hair sucks. I looked like I am going to the market. =(

Perhaps its because I can’t find clothes to wear this morning.

Perhaps its because I haven’t been wearing any new clothes.

Perhaps its because I haven’t been eating good food.

Perhaps its because I haven’t been out playing, having fun and enjoying life.

Or perhaps, I am just bored.

I am sure many of you will view me as a spoilt brat by this point of the post. And I guess I am one.

I should be thankful of what I have and what I enjoyed. And I am really really absolutely luckier than millions of people out there. But here I am, complaining about my life when I already had a lot.

I am ashamed of myself. BUT, this feeling is not something that I can control. I can’t help but feel this way. Similar to an instance where your girlfriend kept complaining about you not having enough time for her.It isn’t that she don’t understand how busy you are or that she felt that she has every right to blame you, the truth is, she simply can’t stop herself from feeling neglected.

The thing with feelings is that you can’t just shout at it to freeze and it will gladly comply. People can’t control how they feel. If you expect them to bottle up all these “unjustified” feelings, then make sure that you are able to deal with an emotions eruption.

Eh.. okay… I have no idea why am I talking about all these when this post is supposed to be about my mama. Haha.. So let’s get back to the “supposed” story…

So I felt depressed and it was written all over my face. When I met my mum for dinner, she was very nice to let me dragged her to Pastamania for dinner. Well you see, we don’t have much restaurant choices at Sembawang. Heehee..

And as you can see, I forced her to take a picture with me! Wasn’t in the mood for cam-whoring and picture-taking thus, I only ended up with 2 photos. I had the Prawn Aglio below. BABY!! I think you will love it! Its quite spicy and tasted good just that it might be a little too oily.

That’s about it for Pastamania.

Mummies are still the best. They talked to you and do simple things that will cheer you up when you need comfort the most. I felt a lot better after talking and complaining to my mum. Although I must admit that I haven’t fully recovered. I am constantly amazed this special gift of GOD that all mothers has.

Mothers always seem to know how their children are feeling despite not knowing what they are thinking. My mum is the only one who is able to look beyond the concealing mask of mine, straight at my sadness, anger etc. (Oops! I forgot GOD can too! ;) )

Anyway, I just received an email and it brought me back to my depressed state. I need mummy again!! :(